If there was ever any question as to whether racism was more a part of this country’s past than its present, whether we had begun moving past all the hate and venom and discrimination that our country has struggled with for so long, this election has proven that we have not. And to be honest, I love it. I don’t even have to have the “Get over it!” debate with people anymore who think the only reason racism is around is because black people bring it up. Oh no. This time, it’s clearly not us.

Racism is back! Welcome, old friend. I missed you. They all patted themselves on the back for so long thinking you were gone. For a while things got really PC and we-are-the-world and it was just sad. With every Kramer and Don Imus and Dog the Bounty Hunter, America *cough* (advertisers) *ahem* cried “FOR SHAME! TAKE AWAY THE PLATFORM FROM WHICH HE SPEWS SUCH HATRED!”

They protested and demanded they apologize. They cancelled their television shows, suggested they get counseling and rehab. They even watched the NAACP “bury” the n-word. It seemed that all good ol’ racism, while still very prevalent in those small pesky places like our homes, neighborhoods, schools, jobs, financial and government institutions, television programs and music, had absolutely no place in Reality TV or talk radio.

But as the days of the 2008 election rapidly come to a close and it really, REALLY looks like America will have a Black president for the first time in its history, we’ve seen a peculiar thing happen. If we’re talking about racism as we know it, then you have to concede that it’s been happening all along. But the high profile exposition of such public figures as the ones I mentioned forced our old friend to upgrade his wardrobe and really spruce himself up. If you don’t pay attention, you’ll barely recognize him. He’s abandoned his trademark slurs for fear that they will be too grating and drive people away. Instead, he’s chosen to play on new fears. In the post 9/11 America, “terrorist” is a much more effective slur than “nigger.”

Terrorist is more inclusive, more scary, and it doesn’t have those cringe worthy g’s and the hotly debated “er” to deal with. “Muslim” and “Arab (or AY-RAB)” are also some nice accessories offered by the Fall Racism Collection. The new Racism doesn’t just blatantly shout about welfare and government handouts, but it dresses it up with words like “socialism” and accusations about Obama’s desire to “spread the wealth around” (a talking point McCain uses to scare people his most vocal small town supporters who, incidently, don’t have any wealth to spread around in the first place).

New lies have taken the place of the lazy/drug-addict/criminal stereotypes of old. With Obama, these don’t work, so instead lazy becomes “inexperienced,” criminal becomes a “pal of terrorists,” and I think “elitist” is supposed to be the new drug-addict, but I’m still having a hard time figuring that one out. Even with all of it’s changes, Racism’s fall look still has some of that same classic style it’s known for. There have been Obama monkeys, Obama ghosts hanging by nooses from trees for a nice Halloween flavor, and the now infamous Obama Bucks food stamp, garnished with portraits watermelon, fried chicken, ribs, kool-aid, and the man’s head on the body of a donkey. Enchanting!

And here we are, right before the election, witnessing some of the best Racism of recent years. Both Don Imus and Dog the Bounty Hunter have their jobs back as of a few months ago. And if that’s not enough for you, white people even quietly got O.J. Simpson. 13 years to the day he was acquitted, they finally got him. Not that it was racist to put O.J. in jail, but you know you wanted his ass bad, didn’t you? And honestly, if Obama wins, I’d consider that more than a fair trade.

Yes, after a childhood in the south where I remember in high school some kids wearing shirts with the acronym “MAMFAN” for Me And My Friends Against Niggers, as well as Klan marches and more incidents than I care to name, I must admit I was confused by all this talk of Obama as a “post-racial” candidate and a sign that we may finally get to a point of equality in this country. But after I heard the news about someone at a McCain rally shouting “Kill him!” at the mention of Obama’s name, I knew right away, Racism, that like the festering itch of a herpes sore you had come back.

I knew you weren’t going anywhere.